How to deal with a returning married man: Expert guidance

How to deal with a returning married man: Expert guidance

M Hasan    11:24 AM   

Understanding the Emotional Complexity of Being Pursued by a Married Man

In the intricate web of human relationships, few situations are as emotionally challenging as being pursued by a man who is already married. This scenario is riddled with confusion, emotional turmoil, and moral questions that can leave a person feeling lost and vulnerable. Navigating this situation requires not only emotional strength but also a clear understanding of personal values, self-worth, and the importance of setting healthy boundaries.

The woman involved in such a situation often experiences a wide range of emotions—from initial confusion and hope to frustration, anger, and feelings of being used. These emotions are natural but can be dangerous if left unchecked. The persistence of a married man may lead to unrealistic expectations or fantasies, which can ultimately erode one's self-esteem and prevent the pursuit of healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Exploring the Motivations Behind His Behavior

To better understand the dynamics at play, it’s important to examine the possible reasons behind his actions. Is he seeking an escape from his current marital life? Is he looking for validation, or is this a selfish impulse? According to clinical psychologist Dr. Ana Garcia, "his pursuit is rarely about genuine love and more often about unmet personal needs, an escape, or an ego boost. It's not your responsibility to fill that void or rescue him from his own life."

This perspective helps to depersonalize the situation and view it from a more objective standpoint. Recognizing that his actions are not necessarily about you can be a crucial step in protecting one's emotional well-being.

Prioritizing Your Own Emotional Well-Being

The first and most important priority in this situation should always be your own emotional health. Maintaining any connection—no matter how small—with a married man is likely to lead to pain and frustration. The hope that he will eventually leave his wife is often an illusion that prolongs suffering.

Dr. Ricardo Soto, a relationship specialist, warns that "every message responded to, every secret meeting, is another brick in an emotional prison that you are building yourself. Your peace of mind and dignity must be non-negotiable."

Setting Clear Boundaries

Setting firm and clear boundaries is essential in these situations. Dr. Elena Morales, an expert in codependency, emphasizes that "setting firm and non-negotiable boundaries is an act of self-love. You don't have to justify your decision or feel guilty for protecting your space and heart."

It's common for a woman to cling to the fantasy that the man will eventually leave his wife for her. However, promises of a future together while he remains married are rarely fulfilled. When they do happen, the resulting relationship is often built on a foundation of distrust and guilt.

Seeking Professional Support

Navigating this complex situation can be overwhelming, and seeking professional support can be invaluable. A therapist can offer tools to process emotions, strengthen self-esteem, and develop strategies to close this chapter healthily. Talking to trusted friends and family can also provide a much-needed support network.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Laura Perez states, "A therapist can help you unravel emotional complexities, strengthen your self-esteem, and develop strategies to close this chapter healthily, allowing you to heal and rebuild."

Tips for Moving Forward

1. Don’t idealize his return
   The fact that he’s reaching out doesn’t mean he’s changed or that his current relationship is broken. Often, what he’s seeking is emotional validation or a temporary escape from routine, not a real reunion.

2. Recognize what it really triggers in you
   When he comes back, it’s natural to feel a mix of surprise, excitement, and confusion. However, recognizing those emotions allows you to make decisions from clarity, not nostalgia.

3. Maintain firm boundaries
   If he’s already married, your role in his life should be nonexistent. Don’t accept personal conversations, dates, or memories disguised as friendship.

4. Remember why the relationship ended
   It’s common for memory to select only the good moments. However, it’s important to bring to mind the reasons that separated you.

5. Don’t become his emotional refuge
   Some men seek support outside their marriage when facing difficulties. If you fall into that role, you expose yourself to an unbalanced and futureless bond.

6. Don’t confuse attention with love
   A message, a call, or an "I miss you" doesn’t always mean genuine feelings. Often, they're just looking to feed their ego or see if they still have power over you.

7. Remember that his new partner deserves respect
   Regardless of your history with him, he now belongs to another relationship. Being part of an emotional triangle only generates guilt and pain.

8. Avoid justifying him
   Phrases like "He's confused," "He doesn't really love her," or "He seeks me because he still feels something" are common but dangerous.

9. Don’t respond immediately
   If he contacts you, take time to think before responding. Impulsivity can make you say something you'll later regret.

10. Protect your self-esteem
    Accepting that someone you loved chose someone else can hurt, but it doesn’t define your worth.

11. Seek emotional support if needed
    Talking to a therapist or someone you trust can help you sort out your emotions.

12. Don’t fall into the "just friends" game
    That phrase is often the disguise of an emotional bond that hasn’t ended.

13. Accept that the best is already over
    Acceptance isn’t forgetting; it’s understanding that what was lived fulfilled its purpose.

14. Rebuild your inner world
    Use this situation as an opportunity to strengthen your self-esteem, personal goals, and well-being.

15. Close with love, not resentment
    Closing with serenity is an act of maturity. You don’t need to hate him or seek emotional justice.

Injured Girlfriend Expected Help, But Her Man Chose a Shower Over the Hospital

Injured Girlfriend Expected Help, But Her Man Chose a Shower Over the Hospital

M Hasan    11:35 AM   

The Struggle for Balance in Modern Relationships

In today's world, relationships are often built on the foundation of mutual independence. Both partners typically have their own careers, personal goals, and schedules that they manage on their own. However, when unexpected situations arise, it's expected that both individuals will come together to support each other. This was not the case for a woman who found herself in a difficult situation with her boyfriend, leading to serious questions about their relationship.

A Broken Ankle and a Disappointing Response

The incident began when the woman, who is 27 years old, broke her ankle after falling while trying to retrieve some chips from her car. She had been in contact with her boyfriend, Tre, who is 34, and he had asked her to get them for him. However, she forgot to turn on the porch light and missed a step, resulting in a painful fall.

After the accident, she was in severe pain and tried to reach out to Tre for help. He initially showed concern but quickly became unresponsive. Instead of taking her to the hospital immediately, he decided to take a shower and later even went to sleep while she was waiting for medical attention. This lack of urgency and support left her feeling abandoned and hurt.

A Lack of Support and Emotional Distress

Once they finally arrived at the emergency room, Tre continued to show little interest in her well-being. He complained about the long wait times and seemed more focused on his own comfort than on her condition. After being released, he failed to pick up her prescribed pain medication, further adding to her frustration.

The following day, Tre’s behavior did not improve. He made food, drank, and even laughed while she was struggling to manage her injuries. When she finally asked about the medication, he responded with indifference, suggesting that she should be able to handle things on her own. This comment deeply upset her, as it felt like a rejection of the partnership they had discussed.

A Relationship in Question

This experience led the woman to question whether she could continue in a relationship with someone who did not show the necessary care and support during a time of need. She expressed her feelings to Tre, which resulted in an emotional confrontation. He reacted negatively, claiming that she was threatening him, and then left the room without saying another word.

Reactions from Others

The story sparked discussions online, with many people expressing their opinions. Some argued that Tre was not the kind of person one would want to build a future with, especially if children were involved. Others highlighted what a compassionate partner should look like, emphasizing the importance of empathy and support during difficult times.

A Reflection on Partnership

This situation raises important questions about what a healthy relationship should look like. While independence is valuable, it should not come at the expense of emotional support and care. The woman's experience highlights the need for balance, where both partners are willing to step up and provide assistance when needed.

Final Thoughts

The woman's story serves as a reminder that while individual autonomy is important, it should not overshadow the need for mutual support and understanding in a relationship. Her experience has left her questioning whether she can continue with a partner who does not prioritize her well-being during critical moments.

IVF Journeys Go Public: Sharing Triumphs and Trials Online

IVF Journeys Go Public: Sharing Triumphs and Trials Online

M Hasan    4:00 PM   

The Journey of Sharing and Connection

After experiencing multiple pregnancy losses and several failed rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF), Cheryl Dowling found herself in one of the most challenging periods of her life. She began sharing her journey on social media, hoping to find connection and a way to process her emotions. "Infertility was consuming every aspect of my life, yet no one around me seemed to see or understand the weight of it," she explains. Through her health platform and community, the IVF Warrior, Dowling has become a prominent figure in the infertility space. She has written a book titled Unspoken: The Unbearable Weight of Infertility and gained 127,000 Instagram followers.

When she started sharing her story, the response was overwhelming. "I quickly saw how many others were struggling, often feeling the same complicated mix of emotions," she says. Despite the global impact of infertility—where one in six people are affected, 10% to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, and nearly 100,000 babies are born via IVF in the U.S. annually—there is still stigma attached to fertility treatments and infertility. This stigma, along with the silence that surrounds it, may be why many couples, especially women, are turning to social media and podcasting to find community, share their stories, and inspire others.

Why People Share Their Stories

For many, the decision to share their struggles with infertility stems from a deep need for connection and understanding. Demi Schweers, who documented her and her husband's journey through IVF, recalls starting the process organically. "I was in the thick of it, feeling alone, overwhelmed, and confused, and I realized if I’m feeling this way, there have to be others who are too," she says. The Schweerses now have over 2 million followers on TikTok, where they engage in frank conversations about the challenges of becoming parents.

Abbe Feder and her husband started the award-winning IVF podcast Maculate Conception. They didn’t initially plan to go public but found themselves documenting their experience as a way to cope with the emotional toll. "We had no intention of becoming voices in the infertility community, but as we kept documenting our experience, it became clear that others were craving exactly that: honesty, validation, and connection."

Actress Laura Orrico began sharing her journey a decade ago after her husband was diagnosed with brain cancer. He passed away in 2015, and she is now in her second trimester at 48 years old, thanks to IVF using her late husband’s sperm. Her choice to share this stage of her life came from a desire to connect with others facing similar challenges. "If I can help other women make this difficult decision, or inspire them to go through it alone, or at an older age, or after getting widowed, then it's worth it," she says.

The Challenges of Sharing

Sharing these personal experiences online comes with its own set of anxieties and pressures. Dowling admits she felt the pressure to constantly show up, even on days when she was struggling. "I thought I had to be strong for everyone else, even when I was breaking inside," she says. Over time, she learned to balance showing up with protecting her boundaries.

Orrico also worried about sharing more than she was comfortable with. "Getting through the first several weeks of appointments, I was nervous to post anything until I got to my next marker," she says. Parfet, who has shared her struggles with endometriosis and infertility, notes that finding the right care team helped her navigate the emotional challenges. "Our stories don’t need to be sanitized or made palatable to be worth sharing," she adds.

The Importance of Transparency

Sharing candid stories often means revealing aspects of the journey that were never expected. Feder recalls one of the hardest things they shared publicly: their experience with termination for medical reasons (TFMR), which is a clinical term for abortion. After years of failed IVF procedures, they became pregnant with three embryos. Due to serious health risks, they had to make the painful decision to reduce to two. "It was an abortion. And it was heartbreaking," she says.

The decision to share that part of their story was difficult, but it felt important to be transparent. "People need to understand that abortion is part of fertility care. That it’s not black-and-white. That it’s health care," Feder recalls her husband saying. "And he was right."

The Emotional Impact of Fertility Journeys

For many creators, IVF eventually leads to having a child, but some worry about sending the message that overcoming infertility is inevitable. Parfet, now a mother after years of trying, questions whether her voice is still relevant. "Now that I have a child, I sometimes wonder if my voice is still one people want or need to hear. I question whether my experience feels too far removed from the uncertainty so many are still living inside."

Schweers, now a mom of two, also worries about the impact of sharing moments of joy. "When I got pregnant or shared a moment of joy, I worried it might hurt someone who was still waiting for their turn. I never want anyone to feel like I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be in that place of waiting and longing."

A Cautionary Note

Dr. Iris Insogna of Columbia University Fertility Center notes that many of her patients mention IVF influencers and the positive impact they’ve had in reducing the stigma of fertility treatment. However, she cautions patients to interpret what they learn online carefully. "Not every journey is the same, and each individual will have a different path. Ultimately, decisions about medical care should be made between the patient and the provider, not based on information from social media."

Feder also reminds her followers that she is not a medical professional. "So many people are desperate for answers, they might follow influencers who aren’t medical experts and end up getting harmful or misleading advice," she says.

The Future of IVF Conversations

While the conversations around IVF continue to evolve, the costs associated with the procedures remain prohibitive for many. IVF is not universally covered by insurance, and in many cases, it remains highly politicized. Additionally, fertility care often overlooks the emotional toll of the treatments. "Clinics and media often focus on the physical treatments and outcomes, while the mental and emotional impact is still overlooked," says Dowling. "Many people, especially women, still feel blamed or judged for needing medical help to build their families."

Creating a platform for emotional care is at the heart of what many of these influencers do. "Mostly, it’s about making people feel less invisible," Parfet says about sharing her experience with both IVF and endometriosis.

As more people choose to share their journeys, the conversation around infertility continues to grow. For many, it’s about finding connection, reducing stigma, and helping others feel less alone. "Will this help someone feel less alone?" Schweers asks. "If the answer is yes, I try my best to be brave and share it."